Wednesday, May 18, 2011

I Will Survive

Rambo had that fancy knife with a compass, and fish hook and snare wire tucked inside.

Indiana Jones survived with wit and by cracking a mean bull whip.

Buford Pusser walked tall with his hickory club.

A Meat Man Extraordinaire like myself has beef jerky.

Scoff, laugh if you must, but jerky has given me strength and the ability to survive in the most desperate of times.

There I was ... marooned in the hot Arizona desert.

Okay so I really it was a nice little guest ranch up in the hills, but I was marooned nonetheless. I was taking part in a week long writers conference.All food was included ... cooked and prepared by a real honest to goodness chef.

Problem was this chef, like so so many, enjoyed dancing with the Devil and all his evil veggie minions.

There were no steak and baked potato meals. I'm talking Garden fresh omelets for breakfast. Creamy asparagus chicken for lunch.  Parsley covered Salmon and rice for supper.

Now an unprepared Meat Man would have starved after five or six days of that crap, but me I was prepared ... I'd brought along a dozen big ass bags of beef jerky. I survived the week on beef jerky, beer, and rum.

There were twelve of us that started the week, but the attrition rate was high. We lost one or two who couldn't take criticism. Another couple to emergencies at home. One girl lapsed into a coma. No I'm not joking. By the end of the week there were only a handful of us left standing and I dare say I was the healthiest strongest of the bunch. Why? Because I was living on beef and booze my friends.

Now let me tell you how you too can enjoy this fabulous jerky diet. Or better yet, how you can take care of the important men in your life.

The fine folks over at House of Jerky  recently sent me a little care package and let me tell you it was fabulous.

I sampled the Black Pepper Jerky and if ever I'm marooned again I'm taking a barrel full of this stuff and Pamela Anderson with me. Yeah I know Pam is a Vegan nutjob but a bet a few days in she'll be willing to snack on some meat.

I also had the Teriyaki and while very flavorful it was also a bit sticky making it a less practical snack on the run or out in the field. My boys loved it and I highly recommend this flavor if you don't mind a touch of sticky.

The Sweet and Spicy had a bit too much kick for me, but it had a great meaty flavor to go along with the spice so if you enjoy a fiery tongue go for it.

I only thought the Sweet and Spice was warm until I tried the Hot Beef Jerky. Shit was it hot. You could dehydrate a chuck of Satan's ass and it wouldn't be any hotter. Frankly the heat kept me from tasting anything else.

The Natural Beef Jerky was nearly as good as the Black Pepper and again as good as jerky gets.

House of Jerky also makes and sells, Buffalo, Venison, Turkey, Wild Boar, and Salmon jerky.

They offer a Jerky of the month club which would be a great gift for any dad, (or your favorite meat loving blogger) Father's Day is coming you know.

Or you can easily donate jerky to be sent to our troops.

All of House of Jerky's beef jerky is made from premium grass fed cattle and you can find out more about them on twitter and facebook.


  1. I thought of you tonight, Travis. We went and had supper at Denny's. They're having their "Baconalia Festival" right now. And yes, I had bacon and eggs.

  2. I have never actually eaten beef jerky. In your situation, I would have had a stash of Fritos.

  3. Ahh yes, beef jerky. The first (and best) meat-lovers snack. Glad to see it kept you from going over the edge, Travis.