Adam Might Want His Back After This

Today the talented, though  as you'll see -- misguided, Mark Terry joins us here for a meaty discussion. Among other things Mark is a talented, multi-published author, a black belt in Karate, and a man's man that rarely if ever misses a meal. Problem is he live up in Michigan and not down here in Texas, therefore I'll forgive him of his flawed opinions on the delicacy that is ribs.

Ribs I Have Known and Loved

By Mark Terry

Dare I engage the Meat Man on the topic of ribs? Not only the Meat Man, but a Texas Meat Man?

I have long had a love affair with ribs, primarily pork ribs. Yes, beef ribs will do, but really, if you’re going to have ribs, go pork.

My friends, the word “succulent” was invented to describe barbeque ribs. From the Latin “succu,” the word for “pig,” and “lent,” the word for “grease smeared on my face.” Okay, I’m lying. What do you care?

Do you baste your BBQ sauce and let it get crunchy? Or do you dip your ribs afterwards?

Homemade sauce? Or out of a bottle?

These are fighting words, you know. Remember the Alamo? I’m sure there was an argument about dry rubs in there somewhere.

Here’s one to bring out the six-guns and Shiner Bock (although, I’m sorry, my preference is Sam Adams) – parboil or slow roast?

Dear God, we parboil here in the Terry household and that may very well be a sin against humanity, but I have not mastered the slow roast, nor developed the patience – that’s why God invented restaurants.

And here’s one to get the Meat Man all riled up: my favorite place for ribs here in Oxford, Michigan is an Italian restaurant, Italia Gardens, not far from my house. Yes, I like them with aside of fettuccini alfredo.

I want the meat to fall off the bone and I want to pick up the ribs and eat them with my fingers. Use a fork? What are you a philistine?

What say you, Meat aficionados? Pork versus beef? What’s your favorite rib? Where’s your favorite rib joint? What’s your favorite side dish? (And yes, beer can be a side dish when discussing ribs and other meats. Totally acceptable).

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Where ... O ... where do I start?

I dwell here in the heart of cattle country. I lay my head each night in the very city where the famed and revered Oprah stood trial for disparaging beef's good name.

And so it almost seems blasphemous to say so but when it comes to ribs, pork ribs are the better option. Not that I'll turn down a meaty Fred Flinstone size rack of beef ribs. 

Sadly, that is the only place where me and Mr. Terry can agree for he is  apparently taken onto too many judo chop to the head or let the sun beat down on his shiny dome one day to many for the rest of his meat theories are the words of a salad eater.

A genuine MEAT MAN doesn't simply make his own sauce -- HE CREATES it.

And did Mr Terry dare say dry rub and crunchy? Ribs are like sex. They are supposed to be moist, sloppy and yes a little dirty. There is no place for dry and crunchy between the sheets nor on a rib platter.

The Alamo? I have stood on that hallowed ground. I touched the very dirt where Davy Crockett, James Bowie, and William B TRAVIS shed their blood. Blood that leached into the Texas soil. Blood that created a nation. A nation that later acquiesced to join the United States. And in that great State one will find a little town named Shiner. In that town one will find Spoetzl brewery the make of Shiner Bock. 

To drink anything less, is nothing more than to spit upon the grave of Davy Crockett, James Bowie, and yes William B TRAVIS.

Parboil? I'd rather be stabbed me through the heart with an asparagus spear than to boil my meat. Oh sure you can boil kielbasa in beer, but ribs? No my friends that is a crime on par with eating ribs at an Italian joint with glorified noodles for the side dish.

Who would do such a thing?

Yes, Mark Terry, but you know what they say about the brilliant minded of the world. Well, Mark happens to be one of those brilliant minded and talented souls, so forgive him his culinary trespasses and instead, indulge in the stories he cooks up.

Mark is the author of the the Derek Stillwater novels. The latest installment, THE VALLEY OF SHADOWS,  will be available June 7th, that's Tuesday if you were too cheap to buy a calender this year. Buy it -- Read it -- you won't be sorry.

And don't forget to drop a comment on your rib thoughts. Mark will no doubt be stopping in when he can to comment back as will I.