Wednesday, June 1, 2011

If You Are What You Eat ... I'm A Little Nutty

I recently made the comment either on twitter or facebook that Brussel Sprouts are the testicles of the vegetable world.

This prompted a discussion of my take on Rocky Mountain Oysters, or Calf Fries as they are known as here in Texas.

Before I get there let me further expound on my anti-veggie mantra. Brussel sprouts are indeed the testicles of the plant world.

Nothing about that picture is appetizing.

Now everyone knows testicles are fragile critters and need their very own sack for protection.

Thus I give you kiwis ... The nutsack of nature.

Okay, not to calf fries.

Calf fries, prairie oysters for you Canadians, or Rocky Mountain Oysters most other places are indeed testicles. Taken from castrated bull calves these tasty little snacks can be quite satisfying to the gut if prepared and cooked properly.

First off, size does matter.

The smaller the better as this means the calf fires came from a younger animal.

Second, the little jewels must be skinned and sliced thin. Nobody wants a big old round bovine ball in their mouth.

Third. They must be deeper fried until well done. Raw and runny in the middle is not a good thing when you are munching on a nut.

If and only if those three conditions are met Calf fries are a quite tasty morsel.

And in the end they are meat. Beef from the same animal as filet mignon, porterhouse, or sirloin steak.


  1. LMAO!! The visuals were hilarious!! You do know how to spin a food!! :]]

  2. Ick. Really, really ick. I'd take a bowl of brussel sprouts over that ANY DAY OF THE WEEK.

    But as always, I applaud your creativity and support your strange eccentricities, my dear friend. ;)

    Great post!

  3. When I lived in Winnipeg, there was a restaurant called the Prairie Oyster Cafe. Guess what its specialty was? I've never tried prairie oysters, but I have tried Brussel sprouts. Yuck.

  4. Um, I appreciate the sentiment, but I think I'll still pass...Call me crazy!

  5. Well you have to do something with them i suppose!