Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Roar Like a Damn Tiger

There I was flipping through the channels when I spy a show called FREAKY EATERS.

I thought to myself. Surely This must be about some lunatic vegan so I hit the info button and this is what I see ...

Michael has a compulsion for eating meat.

And here is a teaser promo I found on the web.

So needless to say I started watching the show. I missed the beginning but I watched for as long as I could until the sights sickened me and I had to flip the damn channel.

Michail was going through life, enjoying tasty meals.

But no. This broad he's hooked up with isn't happy with the due she fell in love with. Just because she has some unresolved daddy issues she is going to take it out on a happy go lucky member of the meat man brethren. And she's not even tough enough to do the dirty work herself. Hell no she enlists some nutritionist and a psychotherapist to help her.

Together they first coerce Michael into blasphemy by making him grind up 150 pounds of choice meat cuts int he effort o make him see meat in a less favorable light.

Then they bring in some cardiologist who shows him a damaged heart and tells Micheal that COULD be him. I repeat COULD.

Then they drag him to some Mongolian barbecue joint and badger him until he relents and eats first carrots,t hen peppers and finally broccoli.

For the love of God people that is torture. They should have shot the damn show at Guantanamo.

Eating MEAT is not a crime folks. Neither is shunning veggies.

And Mikey Yeah I'm calling you Mikey -- a little boys name, because a MAN, especially a genuine MEAT MAN would have told those people to take that broccoli and stuff it up their asparagus.

Mikey, run now dude. First, she demands you change your diet. Next, she'll have you dressing in matching sweaters. Pretty soon she'll have you watching figure skating rather than football. Before you know it you are standing outside the Victoria's Secret dressing room at your local mall, holding her damned purse, while she tries on panties.Panties some other dude will later rip off with his teeth because your dear sweet Jenna has tired of her pussycat husband and wants to spice up her life with a real carnivorous tiger.


  1. Whoa, dude! That bitter last paragraph . . . not speaking from experience, are you?

  2. MMMMMM...

    ....Meat! "Me EAT!"

    Aloha from Waikiki :)

    Comfort Spiral




  3. Me bitter?

    Only because little Mikey betrayed all Meat Men when he let these lettuce nibbling do-gooders turn him away from all that is holy and good.

    And for what? A sniveling woman hell bent on sapping his joy.

  4. I look at your choice in diet the same way I look at people's religion or choice of cars or even sexual orientation - I'm just great with it as long as someone's not trying to change the way I believe. Thanks for being YOU, Travis, and for being tolerant of those who chose to eat veggies in whatever percentage of their diet. BUT I have to agree - anyone who (a) lets someone force them into changing, or worse (b) does so on television, is probably not smart enough to fight his/her way out of a wet paper bag. If you believe, be a force to be reckoned with, by golly! I hate snivelers...

  5. this blog cracks me up, I can't wait to guest blog when Purdue beats the Huskers :) we do play in basketball you know haha

  6. I don't know why people seem to think they have some right to change others, anyway.

  7. Travis' wife says:

    Calm Down your going to have a stroke.